Friday, December 12, 2014

Why I did the Guardian Intensive

It has been two weeks since I left Teaching Drum. People are very curious what it was like for me and why I did it in the first place. Maybe I can shed some light on the subject, however, painting a picture that does the experience justice and what I got out of it is difficult. You would have had to be there. I think, 'you'd have to see it to believe it' also applies.
Below is part of my application to get in to the program. I don't have or remember the prompts but maybe you don't need them.

1.      I go by Tess. I would say I am in the seeking stage of my life, trying new experiences that I am attracted to, this being one of them.

After graduating high school in Missouri, I came here to Wisconsin to go to the New World School of Violin Making. I came here with strong support and guidance from my mother. I have been playing violin since I was eight and even helped out at a fiddle shop back home. So when senior year of high school arrived and graduation. It was seen as the next step. The Guardian Intensive is something I have come to want to do entirely on my own. This is important to me.

Especially when I was younger, I didn’t feel a strong pull toward many things. This was elevated or highlighted my last year of high school when I had to decide what my next step was or which college I wanted to attend. I had a difficult time deciding. I went to college visits, etc. but what I kept seeing was what I didn’t want to do or where I didn’t want to attend college. I inherently saw myself with grand plans and being very successful, but I didn’t know how to get there or what direction to go. I just knew I didn’t want to go to the local community college near my home town. So instead I went with the great adventure of coming to Wisconsin. And a great adventure it has been! And not only for the reason I came here, but the great experiences I’ve had and the people I have met. And the growing experience it has been for me. This feels like home to me now. In the beginning it was tough! I would say it took me about six months or more to become comfortable in my new surroundings. I dealt with homesickness for months without knowing what I felt had a name, just feeling sad and down and very unsure of the decision I made. But now I have come full circle.

I believe some of the best things are some of the hardest things to describe. I was given the teaching drum business card a couple years ago and visited the website soon after. The words on the website resonated with me. It is hard to describe exactly what or why. I think it probably has something to do with how and where I grew up.

I wish to become more in tune with myself and the world around me. I want adventure, but I also want purpose. I would like to have a clear mind and possibly see my path more clearly.

2.      I would like to live a more meaningful and possibly satisfying life. However, my life feels pretty satisfying now, but there is always the possibility to grow. I would like to think this experience would make me a better person and that I might gain awareness and a clearer vision of where I want to go or do next.

3.      I did grow up on a farm. I have never done anything like this before. I have never gone camping more than a couple days.

4.      My mental health is probably slightly better than my physical health at this point because I do not exercise regularly. I would say they are both generally good however.

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